The approach
Accountability without shame.
Restorative Practice treats accountability and understanding as compatible, not opposed. It is a way to look honestly at what happened, who it affected - including you - and what you might want to change, without the shame that can make all of that harder to look at.
Being shamed into silence rarely helps anyone change anything. Understanding what happened, and having somewhere to work through what sits underneath it, leaves more room to do something differently.
Guilt
"I did something that caused harm." A specific, workable starting point - it points at an action, not your worth.
Shame
"I am bad." A dead end. It rarely produces change - usually just silence, defensiveness, or avoidance.
The work
Separating the two, so what you did can be faced honestly - without deciding it makes you irredeemable.
Who this is for
What you can bring to this work.
This isn’t about how serious what happened was. It is about having somewhere to work through it rather than carry it alone.
Guilt over how you treated someone
A partner, a child, a friend - a way you behaved, something you said in anger, an affair, a relapse - and somewhere to face it properly.
Wanting to repair a relationship
Something has broken down and you want clarity on what happened, what it cost the other person, and what repair would actually require - whether or not that conversation happens directly with them.
Feeling disconnected from your own values
A gap between who you want to be and how you have been acting, and what you want to do about it.
Something you’ve never told anyone
Something that has never been said out loud because saying it felt too exposing. This work is built to hold that conversation without judgement.
How it works
A structure for facing it, not just talking around it.
There’s no script and no requirement to arrive with the right words. The work moves at the pace you bring, with a loose structure underneath to keep it from just circling the same ground.
Chris is an ASIST-trained Suicide First Aider. Shame and guilt can sit close to some very dark places - that conversation is within scope, not outside it.
What happened, and its impact
Naming the specific thing - not a vague sense of being a bad person, but what actually happened and who it affected, including you.
Separating shame from guilt
Moving from "I am bad" to "I did something that caused harm" - a distinction that opens up somewhere to actually work, rather than just feel bad.
The unmet need underneath
What was going on for you at the time - what you needed and weren’t getting, or didn’t know how to ask for - that shaped how you acted.
What repair looks like
With the other person if that’s possible and wanted, or with yourself if it isn’t - and what you’d do differently going forward.
What a session looks like
Ordinary counselling sessions, built around this work.
This isn’t a separate programme - it’s part of the same integrative counselling Chris offers, with Restorative Practice as the lens whenever shame, guilt, or repair is what’s actually in the room.
Some men need one focused conversation. Others need several sessions, or a longer block, to work through what they’re carrying.
Format
50-minute sessions, or a 30-minute check-in. Online (video or phone) or in person in Southport.
Price
£60 a session, pay as you go. See /fees for the five-session option.
Who delivers it
Chris Brotherton, MNCPS (Acc.) - NCPS Accredited Registrant. Supervised, insured, ICO registered.
How to start
A free welcome call to confirm fit, no commitment beyond that.
Commitment
None fixed. Some men need one conversation, others build a longer block - you decide as you go.
What men ask about this work.
Is restorative work here a meeting with the other person?
No. This is individual work. It does not arrange a meeting between parties or require contact with another person.
Isn't Restorative Practice just for offending or the justice system?
Here it is used within individual work to explore what happened, who was affected and what may be needed next. It is not a formal justice process or mediation service.
What's the difference between shame and guilt?
We can explore regret about an action and wider judgements about yourself. I use your description rather than requiring you to choose one label.
Can this help me repair a specific relationship?
We can explore your actions, responsibilities and boundaries. I cannot promise repair or another person’s response. Contact or reconciliation is not a requirement.
Do I need to have harmed someone to do this work?
No. We can discuss an event or a broader concern about responsibility, guilt or shame and agree the focus.
Want to do some of this on your own first? The Repair Board is a free printable pack - a board game and 36 needs cards for working out what you need, what actually meets it, and where you go instead when it’s blocked. Use it on your own or with someone else.
Referring men on behalf of an organisation, OOCR team, or community safety partnership? See Out of Court Resolution.
Commissioning for a parent on a residential family assessment placement? The same restorative approach, alongside drug and alcohol relapse prevention, is set out on Residential Family Centre support.
Restorative Practice
Start with a free welcome call.
No obligation, no commitment to book again after. Just a conversation to work out whether this is the right place to bring what you’re carrying.