If you need help now
If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you cannot speak on a mobile call, listen to the operator and press 55 when prompted. This does not tell the police your location. Do not wait for a counselling appointment.
If you think your phone, accounts or browsing are being monitored, use a safer device to seek help if you can. Private browsing does not make a monitored device safe. Consider whether a booking confirmation, email or callback could put you at risk.
Abuse between partners
Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional or financial. It can involve controlling who you see, monitoring messages, restricting access to money or repeatedly threatening and humiliating you. It can continue after a relationship ends.
An argument and an ongoing pattern of intimidation or control are different things. I will listen to what has happened rather than assume that being a man means you cannot be harmed. Responsibility for abusive behaviour belongs to the person using it.
- You change what you say or do because you fear your partner’s reaction.
- Your partner restricts your money, movements, friendships or access to help.
- You are threatened, physically hurt or pressured into sexual contact you do not want.
Talking with me
You may want to talk about fear, shame, loss of confidence or difficulty trusting your own judgement. You may still care about your partner or be worried about your children. I do not require you to have made a decision about the relationship before we speak.
I work with you individually. I will not treat abuse as your failure to communicate or ask you to repair the relationship with the person harming you. Counselling can support you alongside specialist domestic abuse help, but it does not replace safety planning, emergency support or legal advice.
Before we begin, I explain confidentiality and its limits, including safeguarding concerns. We can discuss a safe way to contact you and whether remote conversations give you enough privacy.
Specialist support for men
You can contact these charities directly without booking counselling with me. Check their websites for current opening hours and contact options. If it is safe to do so, ask a specialist adviser about safety planning and support for your circumstances.
What these charities offer
ManKind Initiative supports male victims of domestic abuse, with listening, information and signposting to local services, housing and legal support.
Respect Men’s Advice Line offers support for men experiencing domestic abuse and an information hub covering local services, refuge and other practical needs.
Galop supports LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse and violence, including abuse within a relationship.
If you are worried about a man you know
Choose a time and way to speak that is safe for him. Ask how he is and listen without pressing him to disclose more or take a particular step. A specialist service can advise you on supporting him without increasing risk.
Avoid contacting or confronting the person you suspect is abusing him. If there is immediate danger, call the emergency services.
Questions worth asking.
Can I ask for help if there has been no physical violence?+
Do I have to leave my partner before counselling?+
Is this couples counselling?+
Can I speak with you after the relationship has ended?+
How do I arrange a safe first conversation?+
Start with a conversation
Book your welcome call.
Choose a day and time in the calendar below. You can ask me questions about how I work and tell me what you would like support with. There is no obligation to book counselling afterwards.